The Lines in Between
by SiriusUntiltheVeryEnd
Summary: Helena wasn't what her mother wanted. She was what a Gryffindor should be intelligent, stubborn, mischevious, beautiful and rebelious. Her mother had other plans for her and in between fighting for whats right she fell in love with someone she shouldn't.
1. Warning Sign

Her older sister's Robin just had her wedding and she had never felt more alone.  
Every time she opened her mouth her mother would give her a look as if to say 'Don't say anything stupid.  
Her mother had this gift; no matter the situation she could always make her feel insignificant and stupid.  
In her notebook, she wrote how she felt bitterly.

I felt empty.  
Many people often say this but don't mean it.  
My stomach has no food in it but I▓m not hungry.  
Watery residue of mascara is still on my face, yet my face feels unnaturally clean.  
My eyes are watery but dry at the same time.  
I feel nothing.  
Someone could probably punch me and I will still have this expressionless expression on.  
It's not depression it's more acceptance that I▓m always going to have nothing.  
Nothing to look forward to.  
Nothing to feel good about.  
Nothing.  
Looking in the mirror I see vacant eyes.  
I feel invisible as if I weight nothing and could quickly go unnoticed which is already true.  
Nobody ever cared and was never going to.

Pulling her covers over her head she cried quietly knowing no one would ever notice.  
Her mother came in and gave her a kiss and didn't notice but then that would require her to actually look at her face.  
Taking off her skirt she blasted the music and reflected on the day's events.

"A warning sign,  
I missed the good part then I realized,  
I started looking and the bubble burst.  
I started looking for excuses."

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Soon her mother would make her marry some pureblood bastard who wouldn't give a damn about her.  
The best part was that no matter what she would do, it would happen.  
A loveless marriage and eventually evil spawns to make the purchase of her as a wife complete.  
How whipped are those guys to have to be brain washed into marrying her?  
She had dark brown hair, light brown eyes, pale skin and was about 5ft 7in.  
Probably not too bad to look at, she just wasn't like anyone else.  
She never pretended to be something she wasn't or try to act like everyone else.  
Her mother▓s fake laughter rang in her ears like an alarm clock slowly getting louder and louder. She couldn't take it she pulled down the covers she put her robes on and pulled her black hood down to her eye level.  
Then she proceeded to climb out the window.  
Knowing no one would notice for awhile.  
Walking to the peak she watched the water fall as she rested her head on the grass.

Vaguely she heard her mother calling her in the distance.  
Grunting in protest she rose for a reason unknown to herself.  
'What was the point?' She thought hopelessly.  
Walking up the steps she saw a young man around her age standing at the door.  
"Where is she?" She asked eyeing him wearingly.  
The stranger merely stared at her with curiosity.  
"What are you looking at? Never seen a girl before?" "Okay then" she muttered quickly peeking her head in the house.  
Her mother was not in the kitchen.  
He had dark hair with intense grey eyes.  
"What a waste of time" She groaned then began walking down the stone steps.  
He followed.

Any girl would have screamed stalker and ran away instantly but she really didn't care.  
The boy sat next to her and studied her.  
"Yes you have made the amazing discovery I do have breasts" She told him bluntly yet sarcastically.  
He smiled in a taken aback way.  
He had not said anything or even gesture towards that ...area yet she assumed.  
Leaning back she closed her eyes and let the sun soak her in.  
"What's your name"  
"None of your damn business" She responded putting her hood down and a pair of sunglasses over her eyes.  
"You have no idea who I am do you"  
"Nope and I really don't care"  
"Are you Lavinia"  
"Good one" She laughed amusedly.  
"Then are you Robin"  
"Nope guess again and you get double jepordary slick"

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Getting up she hiked up the stone steps towards the house.  
"Then you must be Helena"  
She turned and smiled.  
"Whoa that's amazing!" she retorted turning and continuing walking up the hill.  
"I wouldn't go up their"  
"And why not"  
"Cause your mother has 3 pureblooded suitors in their awaiting your presence"  
She swore and snuck over to the window and looked through the window.  
Sure enough their were three snotty strapping young gentlemen in her dining room.  
"Shit" "Told you"  
"Doesn't mean I want to believe you"  
"What so wrong with three men wanting to court you?"

She slid down the wall exhaustedly.  
"Court me? Okay they want to buy me like property and my mother's the seller. They have no interest in me they just see me as a trophy they wish to acquire. I am nothing to them and yet I am supposed to marry them and bare their children because my body and my future doesn't affect me. Court implies they have feelings for me. I bet you five gallons none of them would ever look at me as any other than a good investment." She told him scornfully.  
"Not a fan of arranged marriage"  
"You▓re a boy you wouldn't understand" she sighed crawling away towards the sidewalk.  
"How so"  
"You get a wife and kids you don't sacrifice anything that any man doesn't want gone beside that men can cheat on their wives whereas women can't"  
"They could if they really want to"  
"Most don't have it in them" She answered distantly.  
He looked her in the eye.  
"What if one actually wanted to marry you"  
For a moment she said nothing but moved as he moved closer slyly.  
"I doubt it because out of all the suitors she has sent my way I haven't said yes"  
"I see"  
She walked into her house and leaned on the door.  
"Nice meeting you Helena"  
"Nice meeting you Slick"  
"Wouldn't you like to know my name"  
"Nope" She smiled shutting the door. 


	2. Evil Woman

Helena opened her eyes and groaned angrily at the person who had woken her up.  
A scrawny blonde sat promptly on my back with a joyous smile planted on her face.  
Having gotten home yesterday from an American cruise with her family she had yet to see her best and only friend.  
This was not the way she wanted to reunite.

"Did I forget to tell you how evil you are recently? Or are you just in the mood to ruin my sleep?"

"Both" Marlene smirked jumping on her like a spring.  
"Its 5:55 get up!"

"Okay okay!" Helena exclaimed getting out of bed wearing only underwear and over shirt.

"I didn't know they made Godfather underwear" Marlene muttered going through Helena▓s photos.

"Well obviously they do" Helena retorted changing shirts and letting her dark brown hair out.

Marlene threw a black mini skirt at her along with a matching head band.  
Helena caught them quickly applied eye liner pulling her hair back into a smooth ponytail.  
Marlene grabbed one of her shirts and changed into it discarding her Pg rated one.

"I love how your mom is so oblivious to what you wear when she▓s not looking"

"Well Lena she isn't the brightest of people is she?"

Helena laughed heartedly at the honesty in this.  
Every Saturday she and Marlene would go to a local concert.  
The funny thing is Marlene▓s mom thought that they were in church and what makes that funny is Helena doesn't even go to church.  
When Marlene wanted to go to the movies with her boyfriend Rick her mother thought they were doing community service.  
She doesn't even now that Marlene has a boyfriend or that he isn't her first boyfriend either.  
There was Remus Lupin in their third year, Amos Diggory in fifth year, Fabian Prewett in their fifth year and now for 6 months she has been dating Rick whose last name Helena could never remember.  
Needless to say her mother was blind when it came to her daughter.

Helena slipped on her tennis shoes and Marlene zipped up her boots under her skirt,  
(which she shortened immensely since arriving at the Cabbot household.  
Checking the clock Helena opened her window.  
It was 6:20 pm and the concert would start in an hour a mile walk away.

"Ready?"

"Yep"

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Helena easily climbed onto her dresser and accidentally rolled over hitting the ground with a thud.  
Marlene followed with catlike ability she leaped through the gap the open window left.  
She offered her a hand up, rolling her eyes at her friend's lack of grace.

"I'm a klutz so sue me!" Helena breathed defensively before getting up and shutting her window leaving it a crack open.

They linked arms and ran quickly until they hit a paved path in the middle of the Cabbot estate.  
Slowing down they both stretched for a moment.

"So where did you tell mom you were going?"

Marlene smiled evilly" A private bible study then a sleepover at the church"

"You are a horrible child" she laughed shaking her head.

"Thank you"

The pub was lighted brightly and there was a loud noise coming from inside as people went inside.  
Helena pulled the tickets out that were previously hidden safely in her cleavage.  
The guy collecting the tickets at the door said nothing but raised his eyebrows.  
Going to the bathroom they readjusted themselves before going out and sitting by the bar.

"So whose this band I have got to see!?" Helena yelled over the music.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Marlene called over the music as The Clash came out.

Helena's eyes popped with excitement as her jaw dropped.  
She was utterly speechless.  
Not only did someone remember it was her 17th birthday but to see her favorite band.  
She could hardly breathe from the happiness and energy bursting through.  
Not forgetting her manners she hugged Marlene off her feet.

"You▓re Welcome! Come on" Marlene hugged her back before running towards the mosh pit.

Helena rushed to the front with Marlene both singing the music as if it were religious.

"Darling you gotta let me know Should I stay or should I go? If you say that you are mine!?"

Helena broke out into crazy dancing and Marlene willing joined in as many others around them did the same.  
The mosh pit was bouncing and they both had never been so free in their lives.  
When the band went out for intermission they both reluctantly sat down at the bar.

"Can I get a Butterbeer please?" Helena asked the bartender as Marlene pulled out coins.

"Marl you've done enough-"

"Lena you are so not paying on your birthday!" Marlene ordered forcefully paying the greasy man and giving her a glass of Butterbeer.  
"To being legal!" she toasted victoriously.

Helena snorted loudly before draining her glass.  
The greasy bartender returned and automatically refilled her glass.

"He must have heard I▓m legal eh?" Helena laughed hysterically.

Marlene spit up her drinking and fell to the floor laughing.  
They both leaned on each other for support.

Managing to control themselves eventually they both sat back down.  
Breathing in deeply they suddenly heard a beat and rushed back into the mosh pit.  
"London calling to the faraway towns Now war is declared, and battle come down London calling to the underworld Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls!"

Mouthing the words violently and rocking to the music they both let any self pride remaining go and danced like monkeys. For there final song they played Helena▓s favorite.  
"The shareef don▓t like it Rockin the casbah Rock the casbah The shareef don▓t like it!"

Even though each wore a mini skirt they still got down low at the appropriate times.  
"He thinks it▓s not kosher Fundamentally he can▓t take it.  
You know he really hates it."

Sadly they both left the amusement of that night plastered on their faces.  
Helena was so happy she actually began skipping causing Marlene to laugh hysterically in her wake.

"Come on join me!"

Marlene shook her head as smile playing on her lips as Helena skipped back words.

"You know you want to!"

"I really don't"

"And why n-?" Helena started until she fell promptly on her bum.  
Any normal person would dust themselves off and be embarrassed.  
Helena was never normal.  
Doing the exact opposite of what she should do she lay on the ground laughing amusedly.  
Marlene kicked her lightly and gestured for her to get up.  
She did so but instead of walking normally she picked up skipping again this time the right direction.  
Marlene had to admit this girl could probably bounce back from anything.

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When they finally made it home it was weird.  
It was 1:30 and all the lights were still on.  
After exchanging looks Marlene climbed in first.  
Then Helena quietly came in after her.

She quickly closed the window and turned.  
Oh how Helena could practically hear herself silently gulp.  
Her mother stood their in her robes and a nice hair duo and an icy glare on her face.  
Oh shit Helena thought petrified.

"Marlene your mother is in the dining room" She said simply.

Marlene gave her an uneasy look as she went to the dinning room.  
Helena felt her pulse quicken as all color from her face vanished.

"This is the last time Helena"  
"You will never embarrass me like you did tonight.  
I can grantee that" Her tone was cold yet her voice didn't dare go above a whisper.  
This scared her more that anything because that meant she was going to get it another way.  
"You will never see her again and from now on you will come to every pureblood dinner including the Lestrange wedding this weekend"

"She▓s my best friend mom! And I hate Bella and I was going to-"

"Silence!" she barked her eyes deadly.

For once Helena complied with her mothers wishes.

"You will do as I say but it won't save you from the sound of lashing" She walked towards her daughter causing her to flinch slightly.

"You will never see any of your friends again. Years i have put up with it and no more will you tarnish your name with all this riftraff!  
You will marry a pureblood if it's the last thing you ever do. " She spat in her daughters face before leaving the room.

Helena felt her eyes fill up with tears.  
She didn't care that she was going to be tortured.  
She cared that when she said she wouldn't see her friends again, she meant it and if there was one thing she had learned about her unpleasant mother it▓s that when she means something it happens, no matter the consequences.  
At Hogwarts the Slithern's would report and hurt Marlene if Helena went against her mothers wishes. At home she would be watched like a hawk and the servants would tell if she violated the rules. Once again she was trapped.  
Before at least she could enjoy her last few days leading up to her arranged courtship but now that chance is gone.  
Shutting her door she cried deeply her eyeliner smearing and pouring down her cheek. It was then that she lost all hope of happiness and was sent into a deep depression. So deep that she never even saw what was coming.  
If she had maybe she wouldn't have done it. 


	3. Gravity Rides Everything

Helena felt her face grow pale and white as she threw up in the toliet.  
Shuddering she clutched the toliet seat and circled her body around it.  
Hesitantly Tweaky handed her a towell before standing cautiously at the door way.  
Her eyes dwindling in pain.

"You can go Tweaky"

"But miss-"

"Don't get in trouble ...go" she muttered weakly holding up a hand to silence her.

Regrettfully Tweaky left.

Her vision became hazy and she could faintly make out the door.  
Then she felt her hair being pulled back and someone pressing a towell being pressed to her forehead unable to look up she whispered "thank you.  
Next she felt herself being lifted onto her bed and covered with a blanket.  
A bottle was pressed to her lips and without question she drank it.

Moments later her fever lowered and the vomiting seised.  
Slowly she could make out the darkness of her bedroom.  
Their stood her cousin Riley.  
He had a concerned expression across his handsome features.

"Well cuz ...what does the other guy look like?" He winkied turning the chair in front of her and sitting in it.

Not able to even force a smile she had tears welling in her eyes from the amount of effort that she was unable to produce.  
He put a hand to her cheek.

"What's wrong Kiddo?"

Helena said nothing.

"Lenny who did this to you? You have scars all over your back and you had a broken rib!"

Helena slowly raised her eyes to look into his letting him see the vuneralbility.  
He shook slightly in pain.  
She turned away from him and starred at the ground.

"Why would she do this?" He whispered pulling her face towards his.

"I disobeyed her"

"What do you mean?"

"I was told to go to a party and i didn't with a boy she liked and she got mad" Helena explained trying to play it off as natural.

He looked worried and he should be.  
"Has she ever done this before?"

"No" Helena lied expertly look forcing a look of innocence on her sickly pale face.

"Well i have to get back i just was going to let you know ahead of time i won't be able to chrash the Lestrange wedding with you this weekend but seeing as that is the least of your worries owl me when you get better. If i don't get an owl i will pick you up and take you with me but only if it's an emergency.  
I would right now but your mom saw me come in so she would know-"

"It's fine Riley get out of here, go enjoy your youth while it lasts" Helena insisted feebly.

Riley looked less than happy but knowning that there was nothing he could do he left her.

As everyone always did.  
As everyone always would.  
Faintly she could hear her favorite song comming from her muggle radio she has stashed under her bed.

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Suddenly it hit her like a ton of bricks.  
Her mother did this on purpose to belittle her so she wouldn't be a fight when she pick a husband for her.  
One fatal flaw in this plan was (as usual) she underestimated her.  
'Who needs them? I am fine on my own. Less complications.'

Still pale and sick she happily hugged her pillow knowing that her mother had almost succeded in beating it out of her.  
Laughing silently she couldn't believe she almost fell for it.  
Her mother was trying to isolate her to make her weaker but what she didn't realize is that it only made her stronger.

Smirking weakly she cuddled with her pillows.  
Oh she would act aprioprately alright.  
The next day was the first day of the Lestrange wedding festivites.  
Orignally she had fought it saying she would sooner become a vegiteran than be near those stuck up twits but now she would show she had 'change' of 'heart'.

Turning up her music she fell asleep contently still pale.  
Normally Helena would put up a fight and pout the entire time.  
Her mother had no idea what she was in for and that was the most pleasant fact of all.

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I opened my eyes and saw that I was on a train.  
I didn't remember getting on a train.  
Rubbing my eyes I went down the corridor looking for her mother.  
Then I spotted her talking to Mrs. Black in a large compartment.  
Knocking first I walked in and gave my mother a confused look.

"You were dead asleep i couldn't wake you so i had Albert carry you"

I nodded droisly and sat next to her.  
Mrs. Black servade me with an expression i couldn't quite fathom.  
I started back not afraid.  
Her lips curved into a sneer.

"I see you are going for the...natural look"

"Yes well i find that make up just hides your features with powder" I answered tonelesly.

My mother forced out a laugh while Mrs. Black eyed me.

"I should introduce you to my son-"

"I know Sirius" I smiled.

Mrs. Black narrowed her eyes.  
"Yes Sirius seems to have a very wide variety of friends"

"Is he here?" I asked knowning what buttons i was pushing.

"Yes he is here with Regulus."

"Oh well I better get changed imagine if someone saw me in my pajams. The things the would say" "Always a pleasure Mrs. Black" I smiled lethally.

"As always Helena the pleasure was mine" She replied in the same tone.

Smirking i strode down the hall back to my compartment.  
I was wearing a bra, a overly large Blondie T shirt and a pair of black sweats.  
My hair was down and not brushed so i'm sure Mrs. Black will toture my mother later with my sloppy image for years.  
Let's cry over it shall we?  
Yawning i closed my compartment door to find Sirius laying on the sofa.

"Can i help you?"

"Hey Cabott" He smirked shaking my hand.

I sat across from him lazily.  
"So you as excited as I am?"

"Oh yeah" He rolled his eyes brushing back his hair carelessly.

"So what you doing in here?"

"Well i was looking for an empty compartment and i saw the name on the luggage so i decided to room with ya"

"Fine" I sighed on concernedly closing my eyes.

He soon fell asleep as did I so when Lestrange came in slamming the door we both woke with a start.  
Sirius grabbed his wand and stood while I groaned not moving.

"What do we have here? Is this the Blood traitors compartment?"

"Lestrange do you even know how to spell compartment?" Sirius sneered back.

"Boys break it up"

"Of course the Gryffindor slut speaks up"

I laughed and sat up sleepily.  
"Okay if you are going to call me names i prefer whore"

"Whatever name fits" He spat at me condesendingly.

"Sirius sit down and Lestrange i'm sure that your due for Bellatrix to help you jerk off so i bid you ado" I smiled simply shutting the door.

I layed back down lazily but i could still hear Sirius laughing quietly.  
"I love you Cabott"

"Don't let your mother hear you say that." 


	4. Whos Gonna Save Us?

Helena pursed her lips together and closed her eyes.  
The sound of Mrs. Black's crying wails sounded across the church.  
She heard faintly Bellatrix and her future husband saying their vows but mostly she heard Mrs. Black. Of her 17 years of life it never occured to her that not only could someone physically cry that loud but also sustain the same volume for moments to come.

She tried to hold in her laughter as my mother looked like a still doll.  
How that women could hold her composure at a hilarous moment like this was beyond her. Her mother wore a burgundy dress to her ankles and her hair planted firmly on her head. Though she herself was wearing a dark navy blue dress, a bow in her hair and her favorite necklace.

Finally the newly wedded Lestranges kissed and walked down the aile.  
Sirius found her comming out of the church.  
"It's so wonderful" Helena cried out in fake emotion.

Sirius wrapped an arm around her feigned tears himself.  
"They're growning up so fast"  
"It's okay Lenny! Stay strong!" Sirius pushed her face into his chest causing her much discomfort.

Evily she smirked as she pulled him into a head lock messing up his hair.

"Mercy! Mercy!" Sirius cried in fake-pain.

"Say that my hair is prettier than yours!" Helena totured him.  
"Say it or i will mess up your hair worse!"

"Nooooo! i give!" He laughed as she let him out of a headlock.

She smirked and pushed him sightly.  
"I will tell James you said that my hair is prettier!"

"He would never believe you!" Sirius puffed out his chest in amusement.

"Maybe not but i could get Lily to and she could make him eat dirt if she called it chocolate." Helena shot him a knowing wink and tried to run away from Sirius seeing him come after her.

"No Sirius put me down!" Helena laughed histerically as he twirled her around.  
He was always like the brother she never had and he felt the same towards her.  
Sirius pretended to let her drop into the mud before flipping her back into his arms.

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK PUT HER DOWN!" The other Mrs. Black shrieked in outrage.

Sirius continued laughing but put her down and put his arms around Helenas waist.  
"Mommy i have found a wife" He told her in childlike voice.

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His mother looked horrified that her own son would even joke about such a thing.  
She walked away from him truly disqusted, her tall husband following in her wake.  
The other Mrs. Black not far off still blubbering from the ceremony.

Helena held onto her knees in laughter and Sirius smiled geniually at the look on his mothers face. She didn't see a familar face watching her off in the distance with a prominent frown on his face.  
All she saw was her and Sirius laughing at his mothers reaction.  
"I can't believe you said that to her!" Helena snorted mid laugh.  
"I'm not worthy!" she bowed at him in pride.

"No your not" He smirked pompusly back.

She rolled her eyes and smacked his arm.  
Then fixed her hair knowing she looked like she took a ride on the womping willow.  
"So you know she's going to beat the hell out of you for snarking off"

"She had it comming" Sirius shrugged putting his hands in his pockets and walking with her.

"Yeah but ...what are we going to do?" Helena sighed devolping into a serious conversation.

"About what? My mother? Oh i'm sure even she knew i was kidding-"

"What are we going to do with our lives is what i meant"  
"We can't keep pretending we belong here and you know we will have to make a choice soon"

"Between our blood and our hearts" Sirius nodded in understanding.

"Wow sirius that was very deep of you!" Helena lightened up immediately.

He rolled his eyes and pushed her slightly.  
"Honestly, i know i'm going to leave"

Helena looked at him pointedly.  
"I know that i have to but i don't think i will get away.  
Your parent's have your brainwashed little brother still if you leave.  
My mom only has me and if i ran away she would track me down and not let me go"

Sirius stopped and sighed.  
"I'm leaving tommorw for James's i have already sent my stuff their i just have to leave myself. It's time for me and if you want you can come to.  
We don't want anything happening to our seeker" Sirius joked in amusement poking her side.

Helena didn't laugh this time for she knew she was inaveratably stuck.  
She couldn't get out of this life, he could.  
So she smiled and took it.  
He was her only ally in this hell and after this year at Hogwarts she was on the market like an average piece of meat.  
If he could get out more power to him.  
Then she poundered how much she would be worth.  
Sirius like every man in the room went for the food like a bull towards the red shirt.

Sitting she observed the father daughter dance in loathing.  
Quietly she was for once in her life envious of someone, Bella.  
She had a father and a husband there.  
They didn't love her (she wasn't deluded enough to believe that they ever would)  
but she still had them there. Her father to walk her down the aile and give her to her new husband something she would never had.

Somewhere inside she knew that she would never be able to get married in this manner. Her life was a hell but one she more than capable of over comming.  
They could send all the obstacles they wanted at her and she would take it because she was sending a weapon of mass destruction at her mother. 


	5. Absolutely story of a girl

Helena hugged her knees and laid her head across her them.  
Rain pelted hard against the large glass windows above her bed, echoing her emotions perfectly.  
A week ago Sirius officially moved away and was never coming back or so he said.  
When they were 16 he ran away but his parent's forced him home this summer trying to make one last impression on their stubborn son but he wouldn't budge.  
He despite his upbringing he would never do the things most pureblood boys his age would.

Things were getting pretty dark at her end lately.  
At the end of this month she would start her final year of school but she knew it didn't just mean the end of her education. Now would be the time to fight for her own future and get out but she terrified at the prospect.  
On the floor laid an invitation to the Malfoy's wedding.  
She almost felt sorry for Narcissa, she was only 16 and she was already being married off to the highest bidder.  
Then again she wasn't that upset at that, in fact she liked Malfoy for god knows what reason.  
Malfoy was at least 4 years older than her and yet nobody noticed or cared about that so called 'minor detail'.

The wedding was tomorrow and she was required to bring a date.  
Normally she would have dragged Sirius there and just had they're annual beer pong competition but not this year.  
This year he released himself from his family hold for good and she was happy for him,  
that he had enough guts to do it and that he did it.  
Though she wished it didn't require ending ties with her and leaving her all to herself.

It was around 60 degrees outside, raining, 4 in the afternoon.  
Yet she was in bed wearing shorts, a grey tank top, and her hair up messy with curly tendrils going down into her eyes.  
She now was staring emptily at the dress that hung on her door.  
It was coming down to the end and she wished she could have done so many things differently.  
Letting air in and out of her lungs slowly she focused on the door as someone knocked tentatively on her door.

She grunted in approval and in walked the guy she met the other day.  
He apparently had been in the rain because his black hair was disheveled adding if possible more attractiveness to his exterior.  
Helena pretended not to be surprised or pleased by his drenched clothes.  
"What is going on?"

"Your mother asked me to see if you were in here"

"And you follow my mother▓s orders?"

"No but I was curious to see what you were up to"

⌠You are astute enough to see, after 2 minutes that I am not doing anything, slick"

He smirked at the nickname and stuffed his hands into his pockets as he leaned against her foot post.  
"Bored?"

"No thinking a past time in which you probably haven't experienced since childhood"

He smiled almost painfully.  
"Ouch"

"Sorry I have a low tolerance for weak minded men" she shot back icily.

"Strong words from a little girl"

"A little girl who probably can kick your ass"

"Try me" He retorted unfearfully.

Getting up she walked briskly up to him and stared at him intimidating for a minute before tickling his sides.  
He however didn't move.  
"Damn, I didn't feel like bruising your ego with a wand but I took you as the type that should be ticklish"

"Why is that?" he asked boldly craning his neck down at her.

"I don't know"

Suddenly he picked her up so she had to saddle his hips.  
They were now eye to eye.  
"What are you-?" But she never finished.

He kissed her lustfully pushing her against the wall.  
She was surprised and that her first reaction (without even thinking about it) was to kiss him back. Their were protests she should have made, things she should have done to stop him but she couldn't.  
Instead she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him tighter.  
His hands linked contently around her waist.

Soon neither was wearing a shirt and her hair was down.  
"Hold on, I need...to breathe" she stopped pulling back and standing.

"Yeah" he breathed heavily.

"So I probably should know your nam-" she started but was cut off by his lips meeting hers once again. 


	6. For Blue Skies

Helena sat on her porch in a dress too fancy for 2 o'clock in the afternoon.  
She was twisting her fork in her noddles but her mind was somewhere else.  
Her mind was away from the 7 boys who starred hungrily at her.  
Away from the glances her mother was shooting her it was on something so much better.  
It was back to yesterday when she and her mystery beau went swimming in the spring.

Summer was ending in a week and she couldn't help but want it stay longer.  
The Malfoys had a mask ball for the wedding and he danced with her all night.  
She had never had so much fun at a pureblooded event since the 1974 when her and Sirius decided that it would be funny to dance on the tables and speak in an irish accent.  
(No one else found this amusing by the way)  
Smiling brightly she starred at her unknown expensive food in bliss.

Her mother however was staring at her intently.  
She thought that maybe her daughter had finally found a nice pureblood boy to wed and breed lots of attractive children with.  
Feeling her mothers gaze Helena starred more intently at her plate.  
This happiness wouldn't last long she knew because once the summer ended so would the summer romance that filled her days with such ever lasting joy but she wanted to stay in the relm just a bit longer.

After dinner her mother called her into the living room.  
Rolling her eyes and protesting in her head she went and leaned against the doorway.  
Crossing her arms causally she narrowed her eyes in suspision as she saw her mother with a rare smile on her face.  
This wasn't good.

"Why are you smiling? Going to beat me again? Or did you sell me like property to the guy with the most money?" Helena asked her icily.

Her mother was unfazed by her tone "Who is he?"

"Who is who?"

"The boy who has you so captivated"

Gaping at the air she shifted her weight uncomfortably, she didn't want her mom to ruin the only good thing in her life right now.  
Scratching her head she didn't answer nor would she look her mother in the eye.

"Today would be nice Helena"

"I don't know what you mean"

"Ginger said that you disobeyed my orders and went out of the house on numberous occasions with a boy.  
You have been distracted for the past 2 weeks, barely are paying attention enough to fight me on everything"

Helena was susprised to hear a tired and weary tone in her mothers voice.  
It meant that she was human, underneath it all.  
That she had a heart, as cold, black and grinch like it was she had it.  
She never had seen this side to her mother.

"Why did dad leave?" She asked suddenly.

Her mother looked up tears heavily filled her eyes.  
"Because of you, he didn't want you to be like me"

"Did he love me?"

"He said he did but then how did he leave you?"

"Did he love you?"

"No he did not, it was arranged from birth"

"Did you love him?"

"Love is not needed for marriage"

"Do you love me?"

"Love who you could be if you put your mind to it"

"Love means to appreciate and accept a person for who they are not who you want them to be.  
Love may not be needed for a marriage but it is needed for life."

Helena walked out and shut the door of her room, leaning on it.  
Her eyes turned watery as she slid down her door and hugged her knees.  
Was that the truth? Was any of it ever enough? She couldn't do it no matter how hard she could try or all the tactics she would attempt to stay robotic and marry a pureblood husband she couldn't do it.  
Her entire soul was screaming out telling her that she wouldn't be able to stay plastic forever and eventually would end it all.

Closing her eyes tears flowed down her cheek to her neck, this life would kill her.  
If she didn't get out now she wouldn't be able to remember what she stood for and what was right and what was wrong.  
Forget punishing her mother by leaving the country the day of her wedding to some guy as punishment.  
It would break her mothers plastic heart for sure but it wouldn't get her any farther in life.  
Grabbing her wand she packed her things numbly. When it was all in her bag she put it out the window and sat briefly on the window ledge and stuck her note to her mother on the window. Looking over her room she shut the window and called a house elf.

"Twinky I'm leaving and I won't be coming back"

"But mistress said you weren't to leave the grounds!"

Dropping her bag she bent down and hugged the little house elf and picked up her stuff.  
"I'm sorry Twinky, take care of yourself"

Jacqueline Maria Cabott looked at the note and her face dropped.  
It said six words but nothing that could help her out of this state.  
Her only daughter had left her alone and she was helpless to attempt to stop it because she knew if she brought her back she would only leave again. A wry voice in her head said it was her father in her but she sat on her daughters bed and looked down at the note.

'Maybe Someday I Will Forgive you' 


	7. Highway

Helena dropped her stuff on the floor and searched around the apartment for the boy in question.  
"Sirius!" 

"He's bussy!" A female voice shouted back.

"OH I'M SO SORRY!" Helena shouted back grabbing her bags and rushing out in embarresment.

"OH NO! HE'S JUST IN THE SHOWER!"

"Oh" Helena laughed to herself covering her face with her hands.

A brunette came out and stopped when she saw it was Helena.

"LENNY?"

"EM!"

They hugged tightly and Emmeline Vance starred at Helena oddly.

"Why are you blushing?"

"Oh i thought you were one of his 'girls' and i was interrupting something"

Emmeline had to hold her sides to contain her laughter "You ...you thought i was...i was...-" She stopped unable to.

Sirius came out with just a towel around his waist and a look of confusement on his face.  
Emmeline and Helena were on the floor red in the face, crying from laughing so hard.  
They held on each other for strength as they attempted to breathe.

"What so funny?" Sirius questioned creating not the response he would like.

"HA... HE ... ASKED...OH...GOD!" Emmeline started but couldn't finish.

"WHATS SO FUNNY?" Sirius repeated but this time angrily.

"HAHHAHA!"

"You two are so stupid" he muttered bitterly closing the bathroom door behind him.

After three hours and three pairs of paint stained clothes and hungry stomaches they all sat down at his table.  
Helena and Emmeline for the past five minutes had been acting out their favorite hobbie, taking the mickey out of Sirius.

"You know what I love Em?"

"What is that Lenny?"

"That no matter how many times he tries to make himself presentable he always manages to get food on his shirt"

Sirius looked down and grimaced "You are evil"

"Our how he snores like a monster truck-"

"That is enouuugh!" Sirius drawed out for dramatic effect.

Marlene and Helena broke out into fits of laughter banging on the table in accentation.  
They once again were holding their sides in laughter. Sirius got up and grabbed a pitcher of water.  
He slowly poured it on Marlene and Helena. They retailated by throwing cake and him and hiding under the table.  
Naturally it was girls against boy.

Helena made hand motions and grabbed an enormus cupcake and held it in firing stance.  
Before she could move Sirius swooped down and grabbed her by the waist. Laughing she smushed the cupcake in his face and screamed "ABORT I'VE BEEN COMPREMISED"

Taking this opportunity she ran and saw Marlene waving from the fireplace leaving aburptly.  
Not the least bit worried Helena hid under the table and waited for Sirius. She then saw a black dog emerge from the door way. It sniffed deeply and then started licking her face.  
Giggling she pet the dogs head and fell over as it tackled her.

"Haha you're soo cute, yes you are and such a big guy aren't you? SIRIUS THEIRS A DOG IN YOUR APPARTMENT!"

She waited a moment then heard silence "Oh well you are much cuter then him any day"

The dog looked sad as it's big red tongue hung out of his mouth.

"Awww don't be sad, he's very attractive he just knows it"

The dog brightened up instantly, his tail wagging and his body squirming as she scratched behind his ears. Smiling warmly she hugged the mut and leaned against the wall sighing.  
Snuffles (the name she gave him after a paticular rash of sneazes) laid comfortably in her lap.  
Continuing to scratch his ear she stared out the window.

"Sigh-" she said faintly to herself not finishing her own sentence.

Snuffles gave her a look which for some reason resembled a look of inquiry.

"Don't worry about it pup, I won't be here long"

Snuffles winned loudly and burried into her stomache.

"Oh If I could I would take you with me to Hogwarts and around the world,  
or where ever I end up but I imagine that Sirius would love you on sight"

Snuffles licked her hand.

"You will like him, hes a loner like you. He has loads of friends but I'm afraid he is always alone. It's sad really but now that he has you he will always have someone even when hes too stubborn to see he needs someone" Helena got off slowly.

She looked down and kissed his nose.  
Snuffles looked alittle more confident and it made Helena break out in soft laughter.

"You are so cute, I wonder if Sirius will let me keep you"

Asumming that Snuffles would follow her she walked into the next room.  
She began doing the dishes when she felt warm breath on her neck she whipped around and saw Sirius standing behind her.  
Letting out a breath of relief she put a hand over her heart.

"You scared the shi-"

She would never finish that sentence for she was a little distracted as Sirius wrapped her into an intense kiss. So susprised she kissed back, quickly coming to her senses.

"What are you doing?!" She asked in a hushed breath.

"Something I should have awhile ago"

* * *

PLEASE REVIEW! THANK YOU FOR READING! 


	8. I Wanna Be Sedated

Helena sat on Sirius's plush grey sofa. She was unconciously playing with the butterbeer cap she had found on the floor hours before.  
Sirius was at James's house retrieving him so he could come with them to the train station in two hours. He offered for her to come along but she said she'd rather sleep instead of sleep she sat their contemplating what exactly she had just done. Forget that she how long she had known Sirius, forget what she had said, she had just slept with her best friend without questioning it at all. 

She could have stopped it but she didn't. It was a choice and she made it but ever since her mind flicked to the other boys face.  
The boy she never knew the name of yet was inseperable from during the course of the summer. Then their was the fact of Sirius;  
every girl he dates he dumps. They never discussed it. Never said weither it was a one time thing, they were dating, friends with benifits or weither they wanted to aknowledge it at all. Her head wasn't spinning nor was it perfectly clear she just was stuck in the in between unsure.

Her heart wasn't sure in any decision and she wished desperately she could get an idea of what she should do, of what the right course of action would be. Helena didn't want to have the relationship talk with Sirius but didn't think she could take not knowing any longer. It was killing her to think that she could possibly be another notch on his belt and she wanted to know right now what he thought. She hated to have to ask but she was going to and he was going to have to deal with it.

Sirius and James came busting through the doors, James's luggage in stride. James quickly ran up and picked Helena up.  
Helena laughed entertainedly as she was twirled around. Her arms wrapped around James's neck as his hands were around her waist keeping her from falling.

* * *

"How you doing babe?"

"I'm good how are you James poo?"

"Quit playing those games with me woman" James retorted flirtatiously.

Helena laughed but gave his cheek a big sloppy kiss "I'm missed ya Prongs what have you been up to?"

"Quidditch, quidditch, quidditch-"

"Let me guess quidditch?"

"Yes"

"Tell me you haven't owled Evans"

James looked guilty.

"James!"

"What I can't help it! I have other things I think about but when I think of girls shes the only one for me"

"Awwww your such a sapp" Helena rolled her eyes playfully getting off him and standing on her own.

"No i'm a romantic and youuuu little missy could learn from my victorious example!"

"What be obessed with one wanker for off my life? I think my mother would be a bit too proud for me to do so"

"A woman after my own heart, not doing something souly because your mother would approve" Sirius piped in suddenly walking into the kitchen.

James got off the sofa and went in to see Sirius just as Remus appeared in the doorway, his luggage under his arm.  
Helena smiled brightly and tackled him to the ground hugging him tightly.

"Mooony!" she cried out in happiness.

"Len owww!"

"Oh sorry" she appologized seeing a fresh cut along his waist.  
"I'll clean that up come along now wolfe"

"I'm comming"

She whistled expertly as she coded a cream along his waist and placed a thin band aid on his hip.  
Pulling his shirt down she washed her hands in the bathroom sink.

"So I need to talk to you about something Len"

"What about?" Helena questioned absentmindely.

"Last night"

Helena stopped mid wash and gulped and didn't turn around "What about last night?"

"I know Len"

All the air in her lungs escape as she tried to continue to wash her hands casually. She said nothing and hoped to merlin that he wasn't talking about what she thought he was. If that was the case then she knew all the escape routes of this appartment and if she had to she would jump out of the very window she currently starred out off.

* * *

"What do you know?"

"Don't play dumb, it's all over your face"

"I won't play dumb if you will stop being so damn vague"

"Fine, you slept with Sirius"

"Why did you have to say that?" Helena mumbled disappointedly leaning over the sink.

"Why did you do it?"

"I don't know"  
"I just... I think I lost myself awhile ago moony. I don't know what i should do or what i am doing"

"Your not sure?"

"I'm sure what i want anymore, I just was brainwashed for so long that I took all my energy fighting it that I have forgotten what I want." she whispered as he came up and stood next to her.

"Do you want Sirius?"

"Who knows? all I know is I'm another girl to him"

"Then maybe you should be by yourself until you know"

Helena sighed and bit her lip and leaned into Remus "I think your right. Now how do i do that?"

"Beats me"

"You've been alone for how long?"

"Yeah but that's Sirius's fault" Remus joked.  
"Or at least thats how he tells it.


	9. In The Pieces

Helena rushed through the crowd with her luggage and sat in the last compartment.

She pushed her things in the seat next to her and looked out the window. The last thing she needed was a bunch of people around her especially Sirius. Guilt and regret coursed through her very spine as she starred at all the parting families. She had no family and was superb at driving the few people who still loved her away. It was now that she was convinced that she should stay away from all life forms for the greater good of all.

She constantly felt sick like she there was a growing disease in the room and after three showers this mourning she realized it was her. If avoiding Sirius Black was a sport then she would be the MVP/greatest player in the world. In one day she had been always within three feet of him yet she hadn't spoken or made eye contact in ages. By some sick twist of fate she manage to sleep with the one man she had never tried to picture naked.

Her insides felt infected and her eyes were severally blood shot from lack of sleep.

Sitting back in the seat she raised her hood and protectively held her sides. Maybe if she just ignored everyone she would become invisible. Maybe they would all just disappear, just leave her alone and let her be happily miserable, but she didn't feel sorry for herself. Oh no she knew this was completely her fault and entirely her fault. The only person who could have prevented this was the one person who felt the true wrath of it was her and she accepted this fully.

Putting her headphones in her ears she pulled her sweatshirt closer to her chest held her legs together tightly. From now on she would be invisible, it wasn't hard she used to do it a lot when she was little. Her mother used to be searching all over for the girl sitting in the chair right behind her. So as she blasted Ingrid Michaelson loudly in ears blocking it all out the noise from the students boarding, her lives problems she blasted it all out.

Remus three doors down looked out the window worriedly as Peter tried to engage Sirius in a conversation. Sirius had other matters on his mind and James was reading the Daily Prophet.

"What is wrong with all of you?"

Remus shot Sirius a disgusted look and crossed his arms.

"What Moony? Honestly I would absolutely LOVE to hear your take on the situation"

"You just had to take advantage of her" Remus spat at her angrily.

"Whoa whoa there I didn't take advantage of anyone!"

"YOU kissed HER!"

"She could have said no! She has a mouth and she knows very well how to use it"

James spoke from his paper "What's going on?"

"Sirius...he deflowered Lena"

James raised his eyebrows but still didn't take his eyes of the paper "And?"

"He took advantage of her!"

Sirius gave Remus a sneer "I've never taken advantage, she wanted it"

"Wow Sirius you really were your fathers son right their" Remus scoffed leaving the compartment.

"Can you believe that guy? You'd think he was jealous" Sirius smirked arrogantly.

James looked up from his newspaper and gave Sirius look "Usually I go along with your shit Sirius but this is low. Remus is worried that Lenny is going to become just another girl to you like she will. So why don't you leave her alone. In the end she will just end up hurt and that would be a low blow from you"

James folded up his newspaper and searched for Remus as Peter was left with a scowling Sirius. Remus walked briskly through the hallway but was stopped by James.

"Come on mate you know that if you fight him on it he will only fight harder for her"

"That's the point he doesn't love her yet he will tell her he does and Lenny isn't another girl"

"Moony your right but he's not going to get it until he actually get's his heart broken-

"THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!-"

"I know but you should just find another way to discourage him"

"For example?"

"You're the brains Moon, you will think of something. Meanwhile I must go meet the lovely girl I will spend a dorm with"

Remus smirked slightly "You still going for Evans?"

"Am I ever not?" James winked optimistically.

Marlene breezed into the boy's compartment her eyes peeled for someone not in the compartment. Seeing that she clicked her tongue sadly. Sirius already in a bad mood took this as a personal hit.

"She's not here"

"I can see that Black, what's up your ass?"

"Nothing!"

"Obviously" She mused then floated out of the room running into Emmeline.

"Hey" she hugged her tightly in greeting.

"Howdy, have you seen Len?"

"I was actually looking for her but she isn't anywhere"

"Maybe she missed the train"

"I doubt it"

"I haven't seen her in awhile have you?"

"A few days ago"

Helena fell asleep on the window exhaustedly as clueless first years stood in the door way. They all hung near the exit nervously. The smallest and ironically the leader of this little trio boldly tapped her gently on the shoulder. Keep in mind this child could only

make an outline of her shape and couldn't see her face so he could possibly be poking a mass murderer. Thankfully for his case he was not.

"'cues me but do you mind?" He gestured to his two friends who were gulping at her instantly angry expression.

"Go ahead just let me sleep" she yawned quietly going back to sleep.

The other two shrugged to each other and sat on the opposite bench of her uneasily 'you sure about this?'

'Course she's asleep' the leader mouthed back.

Marlene woke abruptly 6 hours later as the train halted to a stop. Her eyes opened and she rose and saw figures moving outside of the train. She moved out into the hall as the lights went out. The first years in the compartment next to her turned pale and looked to her as if she had some kind of information. Looking down the train she saw others in the hallway doing the same. The train shook and jerked causing the lights to flicker on and off. Instinctively she told them to stay back and went to the front to see the conductor.

Remus stood in the conductor's box with a worried expression on his face.

Marlene approached him irritated.

"Where's the conductor!?"

"NO ONES HERE!"

"Gather the prefects and the head boy and girl we need to get off this train!"

"The train is just DOWN!" Remus called to her.

"SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!" she called back urgently.

Rushing to the back she got to James.

"James get everyone off the train NOW!"

"I KNOW!" he shouted back going into each compartment.

Students flooded to the front of the train as James gave them instructions.

"ALL OF YOU GO THROUGH THE CONDUCTORS DOOR AND GET TO THE LAND!"

"What's going on?!"

"What about our luggage!?"

"Forget it for now just get off the Train!" James ordered as the crowd as he checked all the rooms.

"POTTER!" Lily Evans appeared.

"Evans get to the front and make sure they all get off the train!"

"POTTER!"

"Just do it!"

James ran off the train checking every compartment but one. He heard an explosion from the middle section of the train as he ran forward, wand ready for a fight he forgot the one compartment that actually had an occupant still inside it. Helena was abandoned by the first years that had filled the compartment only moments ago without another thought. Apparently she was better at being invisible then she thought.


End file.
